Why am I crying?

When I snuck away from the celebration to meditate in a quieter part of the caern I was expecting to calm my mind not cause it more turmoil.

I killed Zachary. I killed Theodore. It’s only because of Zachary that he’s alive. Does Zachary know I’m the reason he’s dead? Does Theo know Zach is the reason he’s alive?

I haven’t been able to look at him the last couple days. I feel like when I look at him, when I make eye contact with him, Zach is looking back at me.

I have made a terrible judgement. I let me fear control me. I must live with pain and learn from it.

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